As I’m sure you’re aware, there’s a lot of chaos and upheaval swirling in the collective. Takedowns and cancel culture are the norm. Polarized opinions churning the algorithms are raising the stakes of influencer culture when not catalyzing genocide in far off nations. In a post-fact world, being ‘woke’ affirms wielding identity politics like an intellectual axe. I’m not adverse to burning bridges in the name of equity, nor have I ever felt comfortable with self-help culture that normalizes toxic positivity and spiritual bypass. And yet, as a writer, I’m well acquainted with language’s power to divide, distract and distort. There are myriad reasons to stand up for justice right now, for truth, equity, social change and the necessary institutional collapse that is raising so many questions and ruffling feathers in nearly every sector of society.
I also don’t want to live my life in reaction to a way of life I never consented to. What once felt like vengeance (a lot of self-indulgent performative provocation) feels unnecessary now. What feels important is to cultivate the values I want to amplify in this world, and to start from within. Which is why I’m still interested in what activist poet Audre Lorde termed “Self-care as Warfare.” I’m still interested in creating the calm my nervous system needs to function efficiently and sustainably. I’m feeling more connected than ever to a truer sense of my identity as a feminine woman, including reclaiming all of the disavowed beauty, empathy, receptivity and resilience that entails.
In other words, when the pressure is on, you can still choose you. You can choose to stay grounded, centered and focused on what you do have control over and what you can change. We do not have to carry the world on our shoulders; holding it in our hearts is enough. Call it enlightened selfishness, I believe that showing up at full power entails making sure you’re not running on empty. It means sometimes daring to admit that it’s still ok to be exhausted and in need of a break, even when it feels like the whole world needs our help or that things we knew and trusted are falling to pieces before our eyes.
On that note, let me hop off the soap box and get on with the not-so-secret ways I’m taking care of myself in order to show up on my own (not the media, the trends, the economy, or the fake news) terms. Last week when Friday rolled around I took myself out on a date. Pulling up to Hand & Stone Spa Hoboken, I prepared for my Himalayan Salt Stone Massage in the waiting room by drinking a glass of water. One of the reasons I chose this massage from the exhaustive menu of options (Deep Tissue, Lymphatic, Swedish, Couples, Cranial Sacral, Reiki, Myofascial Release, Reflexology, Hot Stone & Sports Massage among others) is that the properties of the salt are a natural remedy to the impact of the electromagnetic overload we experience using our electronic devices.
Not only that, the natural grounding properties of the salt soothe away stress, improve sleep and balance the central nervous system while gently exfoliating the skin to help promote detox and reduce signs of aging. With sessions tailored to meet your needs, my masseuse was gentle and kind as she walked me slowly through the whole process with a demeanor of genuine warmth and care. Once I got comfortable and slipped into a more receptive space, the firm yet soothing pressure she applied to my target areas (lower back and neck) transported me into an altered state that felt as transcendent as it did ancient and replenishing.
A premier wellness, lifestyle and beauty space, Hand & Stone boasts over 600 locations nationwide, including Williamsburg, Brooklyn, as well as Edgewater, Hackensack, Hoboken & Montclair in New Jersey. With a chill, friendly staff purveying personalized, results-driven care – one of the company’s trademarks is a commitment to maximum transformation with minimum commitment. As a femme New Yorker that’s often on the move and frequently motivated by the needs and demands of other people and institutions in my life, it felt so good to spend my day of Venus submerged in restorative bliss a Hand & Stone.
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I mentioned Friday, not only because I’ve always encountered this day with freakishly heightened expectations, such as: Am I loved? Am I enough? Shouldn’t I be on a date with someone tall dark and handsome? But because this is rightfully the Day of Venus (‘dies Veneris’ in Latin), being named for the Goddess of Love & Beauty. It’s evidenced in nearly all of the romance languages, which call Friday Viernes, Vendredi and Venerdì. Keep in mind that Venus, Goddess of Love, not only governs beauty and self-care, but our values, relationships, love language and sources of pleasure. Speaking of the latter, according to an article by Zoe Huxford for DAZED, orgasms are the lesser-known beauty hack for replenishing your youthful radiance. Noting multiple studies, the piece opens by stating that women who have three orgasms a week on average look ten times younger. Couples that have 50% more sex on average for their age group look 5-7 years younger.
Essentially, when we orgasm, it accelerates our heart rate and blood pressure. Increased circulation flushes toxins out of the skin while the body’s uptake in oestrogen production prevents the breakdown of collagen. Not to mention all that delicious post-coital bliss. As a sex-positive millennial baby (we’re the taboo-busting ‘generation emo’ that looks too young for our age), it felt important to plug this delightful call to pleasure activists everywhere. Needless to say, it’s a spicier beauty secret that’s intuitive AF but worth emphasizing! Whether you’re flying solo or attempting cosmic soul union, your radiant skin will be the first to thank you for the multi-orgasmic glow-up.
Last but not least, in between presumable massages and love-ins, consider that not only is orgasm a function of wellness, but that taking a practical, science-based approach to skincare concerns does not preclude becoming a timeless embodiment of sex magic. In the name of working smarter, not harder, here’s the final step of my midsummer self-care trifecta. The following Friday, I booked an at-home session with Kristen Supple of Skin Clique, the board-certified nurse practitioner revamping the skincare industry with at-home visits and principled care.
With Skin Clique, age management becomes a collective aesthetic crusade. From chemical peels to biostimulators, microneedling and prescription dermatology, board-certified providers procure the latest in effortless, nature-informed facial rejuvenation in the comfort of your own home. Personalized treatments enhance your given beauty, stimulating your skin’s natural collagen production for long-lasting results. With at-home treatments customized to your unique features, Skin Clique’s signature techniques delivers holistic, natural-looking results that align with an overall commitment to high-quality aesthetic care. Designed to address a wide range of client concerns—whether you’re looking to restore volume, smooth fine lines, define your features, restore hair growth, or combat rosacea – Skin Clique’s personalized skincare sessions are uniquely designed to maximize benefits over the long term.
Before you hop on a waitlist to blow $48 on a Kim K-endorsed piece of cloth billed as a nightly facelift in the New York Times, consider that buzzwords and bootylicious celebrities might be obscuring a clearer understanding. In a world where a little media hoopla can turn a teenage influencer into a medical expert overnight, remember to wear your sunscreen! If you’re like me and you want to do more than just blindly follow the masses, read my interview below with Kristen Supple, the friendly and knowledgeable nurse practitioner who walked me through my first Skin Clique session. Known for her warm, evidence-based approach, Supple empowers patients to take control of their skin health with treatments rooted in science, not trends.
BN: One of the things that helped distinguish Skin Clique from other providers is your mission statement, Skin Health is Health. Can you elaborate on this? When working with clients, to what level do you also consider the impact of diet and lifestyle choices on overall skin health?
KS: Up until recently, I feel like having “nice skin” was seen as a symbol of glamour or vanity. But taking care of your skin is so much more than that because your skin has a purpose. It’s your largest organ and your first line of defense against external factors and stressors like sun and pollution (that’s the NYC in me talking). It deserves just as much love and attention as the rest of your body for optimal health. At Skin Clique, we believe that skin health is an essential part of overall wellness. During skincare consults, I always explore lifestyle factors alongside topical treatments. A perfect example is rosacea. There are proven lifestyle modifications that help, from avoiding spicy foods and hot beverages to managing stress and gut health. When patients are in a flare, it can impact their confidence and mental well-being. While customized skincare helps externally, treating skin as part of a broader health picture through lifestyle changes, diet, and even prescription dermatology when needed makes all the difference.
BN: I love that your services are tailored to clients’ personalized needs and available to be experienced from the safety of home. What are the most common problems clients come to you with, and what type of long-term results do you generally see?
KS: There are so many benefits to seeing patients in a space where they feel most comfortable. I’ve had patients point to a picture on their wall, smile, and say, “I love how I looked here.” That moment of comfort and connection helps build trust and allows for honest conversations. My patients range from their 20s to their 90s. While their treatment plans vary, the goal is the same: healthier, more confident skin. For some, that starts with a skincare consultation. For others, it might include a multimodal approach like skincare, tox to help with lines and wrinkles, filler for volume loss, and in some cases, biostimulators for collagen support. One of the most common concerns I hear, especially among my 40 to 60-year-old patients, is: “My skin has changed and what I’m using isn’t working anymore.” Often, that’s the result of years of sun exposure, hormone changes, or stress. We also see patients whose concerns go beyond aesthetics, including adult acne, hair thinning, and melasma. That’s why it’s so valuable that we now offer prescription dermatology, hormone support, and hair restoration services alongside aesthetic care. Long-term success comes from a consistent, customized plan supported by education, realistic expectations, and the flexibility of our membership model.
BN: Can you talk a bit about Skin Clique’s commitment to providing ongoing education for their staff and how this sets them apart from other providers? Speaking to the cutting edge of skincare science, what makes you feel most optimistic and hopeful at work?
KS: The aesthetic space is constantly evolving, and not every new trend is backed by science. At Skin Clique, we don’t jump on the “trend train.” We are committed to offering only evidence-based services that are vetted for safety, efficacy, and long-term results. One of the things I love most is the commitment to ongoing provider education. We receive five times the industry standard in hands-on training, and it never stops. I regularly participate in live webinars, weekly clinical calls, advanced training sessions, and peer case reviews. Just in the past year, we’ve added new offerings like prescription dermatology, prescription hair loss support, and hormone-related care, all designed to support patients from the inside out. Plus, I’m never alone. Our national provider network is full of clinical leaders and peers who are always willing to collaborate. That support allows me to keep growing, stay current, and deliver the best care possible to every patient.
BN: What about your profession brings you the most joy, and what motivated you to get started in the beauty industry as a Nurse Practitioner?
KS: I’ve been a nurse for fourteen years and a nurse practitioner for six. I’ve worked in top hospitals across New York City, where I supported patients through some of the most critical moments of their lives, from major surgeries to end-of-life care. On my days off, I’d treat myself to skincare or self-care appointments. I noticed how even something small, like a facial, could boost my confidence and help me feel more like myself. Eventually, I realized I wanted to be on the other side of that experience, helping people feel good in their skin. I joined Skin Clique in 2023 when my son turned one, and I haven’t looked back. Today, I get to combine medical expertise with meaningful patient relationships and help people invest in their skin, their confidence, and their health.
BN: Do you use Skin Clique treatments on yourself, and which ones have you found most beneficial long term?
KS: Definitely. My skincare routine is focused on anti-aging and pigment correction. I can’t go without a retinol, daily SPF, and a pigment serum. Ask me about Vivid, it’s a game changer. I also receive Xeomin every 3 to 4 months, and I’ve noticed a visible softening in my forehead lines, crow’s feet, and glabella area. Next month, I’ll be receiving Radiesse in my neck as part of our advanced provider training. It’s one of my favorite biostimulator treatments for collagen support and can last up to 18 months. I love being able to experience the treatments I recommend and seeing the results firsthand. It keeps me excited, informed, and confident in what I offer.
BN: Speaking to our culture’s fascination with youth and fear of aging, what “quick fix” treatments are out there that you would warn clients against? Are there dangers associated with products or services that you feel consumers are not being made aware of?
KS: Where do I start? Social media is a double-edged sword. While some content is helpful, much of what goes viral is filtered, sensationalized, and not backed by science. Every week, I get videos from patients asking, “Have you seen this?” And most of the time, it’s someone without medical credentials promoting a “miracle” product using terms like “glass skin” or “instant collagen boost.” These buzzwords often mask products or treatments that haven’t been clinically tested and they can lead to unrealistic expectations or even skin damage. My rule of thumb: if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. At Skin Clique, we only offer treatments that are safe, effective, and science-backed. I encourage patients to trust their licensed provider and always ask questions. I’m happy to be a resource. You can follow me on Instagram @TheSuppleSkin_NP. No filters, no fear-mongering, just honest, expert-backed education.
As the name implies, Skin Clique also hosts group events. Host a social anywhere, anytime to unlock special perks on your next skincare treatment. Skin Clique for the win!
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
“Are orgasms the missing piece in your beauty routine?” By Zoe Huxford, DAZED, publish online March 28, 2024
