There’s nothing more dangerous than a man without purpose and love. In the screen-addicted era of school shootings and fascist governments, of drag queens and pretty boys at the opposite end of the spectrum, where protesting and boycotting ‘white male patriarchal capitalist imperialism’ is as de rigueur as male-bashing, I think we can comfortably say there’s a global crisis in masculinity happening. We can focus on its more toxic (and urgent) symptoms, or we can focus on some of the root causes and possible solutions.
In her 2004 book The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, & Love, author bell hooks addresses some of the most common concerns of men, namely fear of intimacy and loss of their patriarchal place in society. While patriarchy has had many negative ramifications, the truth is, it has done us all a disservice. Rather than playing stereotypical gender roles, this book suggests that in not limiting ourselves only to that which is “feminine” or “masculine”— we can all become more happy, healthy and whole. With many of our actions, good or bad, boiling down to our basic and universal human need to be loved, this book reminds us that we are all worthy of love, no matter our gender, race, religion or economic standing. In this book, bell hooks highlights all the ways patriarchal culture has kept men from really knowing themselves – including their natural empathy, emotionality, integrity, creativity, vulnerability and spirituality.
Healing Does Not Take Place in Isolation
A compassionate guide helping men of all ages and identities get in touch with their feelings, its subject matter proves more timely than ever. Deconditioning from socialized gender roles is a two-way street, and yet, a lot of women these days seem to perform feminism as a reactionary and punitive measure against the people they love or once loved. In fact, for women who want absolute power in the bedroom and boardroom, men’s self-actualization and vulnerability are inconvenient. Clearly, the women are rising. What will it take for more men to commit to the path of reinvention and self-discovery? According to a BuzzFeed review, The Will to Change “creates space for men to acknowledge their traumas and heal—not only for their sake, but for the sake of everyone in their lives.”
If we are honest with ourselves, stereotypically ‘good’ qualities like sensitivity, empathy and cooperation are not guaranteed in women, nor are they anathema to men. While women do often shoulder the burdens of ‘emotional labor’ in their partnerships with men, the answer is not leaving them behind, but creating ways for them to strengthen and foster their own emotional resilience from the inside. Not to mention, redefining masculinity in ways that empower and ennoble men. That is, disavowing that ‘real men’ (according to seven norms and stereotypes outlined by psychologist Robert Levant) avoid femininity, restrict emotionality, seek achievement and status, are self-reliant, aggressive, homophobic, and espouse non-relational attitudes toward sexuality.
Collectively working towards a culture of empathy, integrity, honesty and non-violence, it is up to us to solidify our personal and collective values, and to stand from that place as we move forward in creating the social change necessary. Nonviolence is not the absence of violence, but the presence of qualities which oppose it: compassion, patience and empathy to name a few. On that note, I’ve compiled a small round-up of seasonal gifts for the inspired, healing, sensitive Metro Man. And if you’re looking for fuzzy blankets and floral shirts, you won’t find them here. Primarily, the fall roundup is focused on building healthy minds and bodies, because after all, our health is our wealth. Read on for a list of intentional, wholesome products designed to enhance men’s wellness of body, mind and heart.
High-Performing Botanical Skincare Designed for Men
It’s funny how we expect men to be clean and attractive, but act as though getting a manicure or having a skincare routine makes them too fussy and feminine. Not only do many men engage in daily self-care, but many more are learning that skincare is almost as important as regular exercise, eating a healthy diet, and getting enough water and rest. As the layer between us and the world, our skin barrier tells us a great deal about our overall wellness, most importantly our gut health and ability to create healthy boundaries. And when it comes to feeling isolated, lonely or helpless on the path of self-transformation, sometimes the simplest thing we can do is rekindle our felt interrelationship with the whole of nature. With its complete dermatologist-developed easy-to-follow skincare regimen for men, the Setú® experience procures powerful plant-based products for cleansing, treating, hydrating and refreshing his skin. Crafted in Latin America, the newly released set includes a Daily Cleanser which gently removes dirt and excess oil with moringa, yerba mate and niacinamide; a Vitamin C Serum which brightens and protects with stabilized vitamin C, açaí and zarzaparrilla; a Moisturizer with Retinol which smooths and nourishes with retinol, maca and hydrating Latin superfruits; and an Eye Cream which awakens tired eyes with guaraná, caffeine, aloe and antioxidant-rich achiote.
Did you know that men’s skin is generally thicker, oilier and more prone to irritation from shaving? If he’s looking for smoother, clearer skin minus the guesswork, Setú® delivers visible results. Powered by clean ingredients, innovative science and wellness wisdom spanning the ages, it’s an easy way to help him elevate his skincare game. Filling a long-standing gap in the personal care industry, Setú’s high-quality, culturally grounded products for men balance clinical science with time-honored Latin American botanicals – creating skincare that’s effective, easy to use, and rooted in representation. Vegan, cruelty-free and made without parabens, sulfates, artificial dyes, or synthetic fragrances. Visit the brand’s blog to learn about how botanicals like moringa, camu camu, and guaraná are helping redefine modern personal care for men. Follow Setú® on Instagram @setu_personalcare. Learn more at setupersonalcare.com
Find it HERE
Daily Fuel
Designed specifically for young athletes, Daily Fuel provides optimal nutrition for growing, active bodies in one simple, grab-and-go packet. For all the parents reading this, think the latest in safe, science-backed supplements designed to help youth get all their essential vitamins and minerals. While many adult supplements are not designed for growing bodies, Daily Fuel is developed with his still-developing muscles and active growth plates in mind. If he’s looking to recover faster and avoid common colds and flu, Daily Fuel is packed with over 25 organic superfoods and highly absorbable ingredients, filling nutritional gaps caused by modern life.
By reducing stress and promoting faster recovery, ashwagandha, the powerful adaptogen known for giving one the ‘strength of a horse,’ enhances physical performance, boosts energy levels and improves endurance. Probiotics support gut health and overall immune function and well-being. Add to that super greens containing chlorophyll, iron and fiber to improve digestion, reduce inflammation and promote detox. Founded by a former NFL quarterback, Thread Performance is your go-to brand for performance-enhancing nutrition supplements supporting growth and recovery. A powerful blend of protein, essential micro- and macronutrients, minerals, adaptogens and collagen-supporting ingredients, Daily Fuel is available in vanilla or chocolate. Blend or shake each packet with 8 oz. of his favorite liquid and he’s off to the races!
Find it HERE
GoodBelly Wellness Shots
Did you know that our gut health is directly linked to our immune system and mood? More and more, science is connecting the dots to prove that we truly are what we eat. Recent studies show that the gut, or moreover the “Gut-Brain-Axis” provides approximately 95% of total body serotonin – the feel-good hormone that regulates mood and plays a fundamental role in the body’s neuropsychological processes of perception, anger, aggression, appetite, memory, sexuality and attention. On top of balanced meals and snacks, heal his gut with juicy, good-bacteria promoting drinkable wellness. An easy way to help keep your man healthy, GoodBelly just launched their newly reformulated 2oz Wellness Shots – now available nationwide at Whole Foods. The functional benefits of each shot are astounding, being packed with prebiotics, vitamins, and the clinically studied DE111® probiotic for superior gut and immune health. Available in delicious flavors like Mango, Blueberry Acai and Strawberry Banana, the shots are a trusted staple of many NFL and NBA teams! Recently named Probiotic Drink of the Year by the Mindful Awards, GoodBelly Wellness Shots are soy, dairy and gluten free, vegan & non-GMO!
Find it HERE
Liposomal Glutathione
No need to elaborate on a general crisis in mental health any more than the supposed male loneliness epidemic. What I do wish to emphasize is that, highlighted in the above paragraph on the importance of gut health, the physical constitution of our body greatly contributes to the quality of our thoughts. We can’t be happy when we are in chronic pain, nor when many of our trusted physicians have been trained to capitalize on disease, normalizing if not dismissing altogether the deeper roots of the growing list of health epidemics. No longer does an apple a day do the trick. If you’ve heard of liquid vitamins, you’ve probably heard of Rho Nutrition.
As the brand formulating potent supplements from bioavailable ingredients, their state-of-the-art Liposomal Delivery System is hailed for its unparalleled cellular absorption. With over a million servings sold, Rho has rapidly made their mark on the industry, an arena where many corporations prioritize profits over consumer well-being. Driven to make a difference, Rho brought together industry experts and award-winning PhD chemists to build the supplement brand rooted in trust, innovation and genuine wellness.
If your man is looking to increase his feel-good quotient, look no further than the ‘body’s master antioxidant’ Liposomal Glutathione. An antioxidant crucial to the body’s natural detox process, liquid glutathione defends cells against oxidative stress, supporting a healthy immune response and maintaining cellular resilience. A serving a day not only supports healthy white blood cell activity, but also promotes normal collagen formation and skin elasticity. A natural cellular antioxidant defense, the liquid supplement neutralizes free radicals and oxidative stress, contributing to wellness long-term. Clinically proven to offer up to 20x greater absorption than powder forms, Rho Nutrition’s premier liquid Liposomal Glutathione has also been shown to produce a 39% reduction in Mercury levels, aiding detoxification pathways and contributing to healthier liver enzyme activity.
Find it HERE
Methylene Blue Collagen Cream
Speaking of collagen, it’s not just for aspiring models, pregnant mothers and femmes. In fact, a rodeo wrangler on a mission to rediscover ancestral remedies and put the ‘whole animal’ to use while creating functional alternatives to the chemicals, seed oils and preservatives found in mainstream skincare has dreamt up the most rugged of collagen creams. Better for the environment and local ranchers, Methylene Blue Collagen Cream by Marrow & Tallow cuts to the bone of the wellness recipe with masculine efficiency.
Combining the richness of grass-fed bison tallow, the nourishing properties of pastured beef marrow, the hydration of jojoba oil, the rejuvenating effects of methylene blue, and the soothing effects of peppermint – this all-natural balm is designed to balance his skin’s natural oil production while soothing and calming irritation. Packed with collagen and stem cells, skin-revitalizing bone marrow is an ingredient our bodies recognize and integrate with ease. Added Jojoba Oil closely mimics the skin’s sebum, effectively moisturizing and balancing to promote a healthy complexion. Prized ingredient Methylene Blue, a powerful antioxidant and anti-aging compound, likewise aids in reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Meanwhile, the light fragrance of peppermint extract affords a cooling, grounding sensorial experience. Deeply hydrating and nourishing, it’s a great way to encourage any man to take the health of his skin as seriously as he does his financial ranking. Free of parabens, sulfates, artificial fragrances and other harsh chemicals, Methylene Blue Collagen Cream hits the bullseye on self-care.
Find it HERE
APOTHEKE’s Immersive Candle Experience
My parents shared a successful marriage lasting about thirty years. My Mom says when they finally divorced, my Father said something like, “Everything beautiful in my life comes from you.” He had been a traditional breadwinner, while she supported us kids emotionally, kept the household beautiful and the community on our side with her empathy, social intelligence, creativity and magic. I’m not saying that if my Dad had learned how to turn on the stove and my Mom had contributed a little bit financially to the family as he wanted her to, we would have all lived happily ever after. What I am suggesting is that men might benefit from relying less on their female half for the feelings of nurture, care, sensitivity, beauty and aesthetics that they not only often take for granted, but can cultivate for and within themselves. Just as women can benefit from becoming more financially self-reliant, assertive, decisive and firm in their purpose and boundaries.
One small, super easy way to start might look like lighting a candle with the intention to soothe, restore and uplift after a long day at work. I’ve been lighting up at meal time, and it’s incredible how instantly the mood shifts! As seen in Vogue, APOTHEKE candles are made with a premium soy wax blend and essential and perfume-grade fragrance oils. Transport your man into a state of surrender and bliss with these sweet-smelling, clean-burning candles. Encased in modern, iridescent specialty glass, their vessels are an art piece in themselves. Named after the German word for pharmacy, APOTHEKE is the brainchild of Chrissy Fichtl, who started the business blending ingredients by hand, watching it grow over time to become a cult favorite, ala collaborations with top perfumers and brands like J.Crew. With scents crafted to transform any space, not only are these artisanal candles stunning and aromatic, they’re made with clean ingredients locally in Red Hook. With scents like Bergamot Tangerine, Sea Salt Grapefruit, Charcoal, White Vetiver, Cedarwood Ginger, Black Iris Oak, Earl Grey and Hinoki Lavender – APOTHEKE candles make ‘home’ an intentional experience. Visit the flagship APOTHEKE Studio, New York’s first immersive candle-making experience to create your own.
Find it HERE
WORKS CITED
“The Gut-Brain Axis: Influence of Microbiota on Mood and Mental Health” by Jeremy Appleton, ND. National Library of Medicine, August 2018, 17(4): 28–32
“A Pilot Study: GLUTATHIONE” by CELLG8®, published online (2022)
